WASHINGTON, DC--In a closely watched proceeding, DC District Court Judge Natalia Wimbley ruled Friday in favor of claims by a coalition of media companies to rights to the 'attention' of consumers. "This ruling is crucial to the continued vitality of American art and culture," explains RIAA President-elect Richard Mound. "Recognition of attention rights goes a long way to guaranteeing that artists and musicians will have access to sustainable revenue streams." (full story)

NEW YORK--ABC news magazine "20/20" reporter John Stossel, accidentally decapitated late last month while shooting a segment "debunking the myth of wind power," returns to the air Wednesday in a special interview with 20/20 anchor Barbara Walters. "It's really an amazing story," explains Walters. "Most people wouldn't even survive decapitation, let alone have the guts, the determination, to keep doing their jobs. It's a real triumph of the human spirit." (full story)

BOSTON--In a paper published recently in the journal Science, MIT Professor Marguerite Fury reports establishing experimentally the existence of 'anti-money', a bizarre economic phenomena linked by Professor Fury to a host of hypothesized 'quantum economic' processes underlying all matter. "Experimental confirmation of at least one of my theoretical predictions tells me I'm on to something," notes Professor Fury. "This result will feed my thinking for some time." (full story)

WALVILLE, ARK.--Representatives of the Wal-Mart corporation on Friday opened the first of many planned in-store trading 'pits' for the buying and selling of futures contracts on more than 1,100 consumer and household goods carried by the retailing giant. "This is about injecting some new excitement into the shopping experience," exclaimed Wal-Mart VP of Marketing William Foursby. "It's about capturing some of the energy of a bazaar, of an open marketplace, and, at the same time, extending our value chain that last mile to our retail customers." (full story)

WASHINGTON--In a bid to "foster innovation" and "encourage the efficient use of public resources," the U.S. Federal Communications Commission announced Tuesday plans to auction exclusive rights to the use of the English definite and indefinite articles. "For a number of years the Commission has been studying the possibility of enhancing the value of English through selective privatization of some of its features," explains FCC Chairwoman Glenda Friedboot. "The auction we propose today is the first Commission initiative implementing the lessons of that research. It is also a test initiative, designed to gauge the effectiveness of a broader privatization policy." (full story)

TOKYO--Officials from the Walt Disney Company confirmed early this morning that several members of the Japanese Royal family, including the reigning Empress, have fled the specially-maintained habitat in which they live. Though their current whereabouts are unknown, they are believed to still be in the Tokyo area. "We are very concerned for their health and safety," noted a solemn Disney representative. "[Disney] enjoy[s] a very close relationship to the family, and we've taken on a commitment to preserving Imperial culture and practices. We feel responsible and are doing everything within our power to bring them home." (full story)

CAMBRIDGE--Researchers at the MIT Media Lab announced Friday the successful construction of a nano-scale "boy band" capable of performing complex, synchronized dance routines on the head of a pin. "Creating [the band] was part of a larger, long-term effort here at the Lab to humanize nano-scale user interfaces," notes Professor Ambrose Stone, director of the research team. "[The band] will act as goodwill ambassadors from the world of ubiquitous [nano-electro-mechanical devices]." (full story)